no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I believe in your delicious
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
