you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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