there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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