You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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