just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
