I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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