was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
