when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
