my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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