Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
