i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
