Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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