He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize