Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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