so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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