ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
