I must be too annoying 4 u.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
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