i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.