You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.