I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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