Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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