idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
