idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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