my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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