I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
