Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize