i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
