I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
