omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
