i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
