i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
