All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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