Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
