You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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