can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
COCAINE IS GR8
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
