the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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