so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
