all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
