I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
