the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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