went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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