oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
