There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
