Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
someone owes me an orgasm
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
