That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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