I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
