I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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