The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Randomize
