there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
All I want is dick and wine.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
