Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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