Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
