Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
