remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
