so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize