She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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