I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
His nipple licking is glorious
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