I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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