I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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