my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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