If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She's like a pop up book from hell.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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