I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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