I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
